My favorite morning drive-time team on the radio (WGTS) was talking yesterday about songs that inspire us. Songs that spur us forward. Songs that change how we think. This whole week, too, they've been encouraging listeners to focus on God's healing in our lives. Both of those topics brought one song and one moment to mind...."Go Light Your World." I can't remember who wrote it originally, but I remember the moment I first heard the song...
It was 10 years ago.
We had just been told that our second child and first son was profoundly deaf, had cerebral palsy and may not survive to his 1st birthday. We were in the process of undergoing a lengthy series of genetic and metabolic testing to diagnose the root problem...it was grueling and things weren't looking very good. We were struggling with questions, longing for answers and oh so very weary.
I took a much needed weekend break and headed off to California to attend a Women of Faith Conference in Anaheim. Kathy Troccoli was the featured musician for the weekend. Such a talented performer!! Anyway, at one point during her afternoon concert, she asked the sign language interpreter to join her on the stage. Kathy sang that song with such heart. But it's the interpreter who did it for me. She was BEAUTIFUL, graceful and so powerfully evocative of the meaning of the song.
In those few moments of music, I realized that I had been feeling like an extinguished candle. That I had forgotten my flame. Lost my light. Forgotten that the fire inside comes from God. Forgotten that my flame should shine brighter in a storm. The song spoke to me...but the interpreter moved me. Moved me to think of the opportunities for Patrick rather than the losses. Moved me to CHOOSE laughter over sorrow. Moved me to look at his abilities and not his disabilities. Moved me to look forward to learning a new mode of communication rather than feeling cheated out of hearing "mommy" from this darling boy. Moved me to enjoy every day with him rather than counting down the days....
We celebrated his 10th birthday in November...and my *bonus featured* boy is an adventure at every turn. Did God miraculously heal him and make him like all the other kids? No. (But then again, I thank God each and every day that NONE of my kids are "normal!") Did He provide healing in ways that have doctors scratching their heads? You betcha! And for our family? well, I believe the best is yet to come....
