45 Lessons after 90 Years: Regina Brett

A newish acquaintance passed along a list of 45 Lessons learned in the author’s 90 years of life. Kudos to you, Regina Brett—not a dud in the bunch! I prettied up the list, printed it and stuck it on the lovely beige wall of my cube. Each day, a different one strikes me, speaks to me, drives me. This week, it’s been #32.

Several are simply succinct ways of stating things we *know* but forget in the muck & muddle of day to day living. I've found 'em pretty encouraging. Here they are, so you can join the fun:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles..

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Now…which one speaks to you??

Progress and the Patrick

So...Patrick and I want to see his doctor this week for his annual physical. This time he was due for two immunizations, so we talked briefly about the usual--how many nurses would it take? I reminded her that his flu shot experience this year was fairly uneventful, so maybe we should just go with one. Told Patrick he needed two shots and that that nurse was going to put one in each arm. He nodded and told her to go ahead. Yup. This is the same boy who needed 4 nurses to hold him down & immunize him--when he was 3!!! How nice it was not to have to apologize after his appointment...something that had become the routine for our exit from the doctor's office!!

Watching him, the doctor and I had a moment of shared mistiness as we talked about how far has come....and how easy it is to see that we have only begun to scratch the surface of his potential. She's been with us from the start, has shared our frustrations, our concerns and has helped us interpret the news as it has come--good, bad or indifferent. She has been a blessing to our family, treating & caring for all of my kids. Often, I have wondered what she thought of how we are doing and where he has been going. You know, we muddle along the best that we can, doing the best we can with what we have and what we know at the time. There have been times when we don't think we know much or are doing much...I think this is true for all parents, not just those of us who have bonus-feature kids. It was a rare treat to get a glimpse of her thoughts and pleasure at his remarkable achievements...and to share a moment of overwhelming "WOW! Who thought we'd see this?" with her.

Heck, as I type this, he is peering over my shoulder, reminding me to write about our cats--Indy & Dakota--as well as his school, MSD. He has made such wonderful progress over the last year that they have invited him to stay in the school dormitory part-time next year! Many of his friends were offered the opportunity beginning this year, and he has been asking when it was his turn...but the school wasn't sure he was ready. NEXT year, he'll give dorm living a try. Whoo hoo! Yesterday, the quarterly MSD Bulletin magazine arrived in the mail...he hasn't set it down and has worked his way through all the articles. LOL. He's soooooooooo very proud of the MSD graduate who signed with Towson University to play football!! As for me, I'm delighted to see him identifying soooooo strongly with successful deaf people, with his peers, with his community.

This is a loooooooooonnnnnnngggg rambly post, mostly for the sake of saying THANK YOU GOD for this boy who is teaching me so much about the possibilities that exist if we don't allow ourselves to fall victim to limits imposed on us by others.

Spills, Chills & Fire Drills

4:47 am

There I was, snug in my rented bed...dozing fitfully and nightmaring about the coming day...

*NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH*

First thought...doesn't *sound* like the alarm clock...

Second thought...FIRE ALARM!! (in a hotel--aaaaahhhhhh)

Third thought...but I'm not cooking!!

So I grabbed my coat, threw on my snow boots, grabbed my purse & my room key and split. Down the stairs. Now you know how well stairs and I get along, so as you might guess, rousted from my bed, freaked out and wearing boots. Yup...took a tumble down about 4 stairs. But hey...I was going that way anyway, right?

Get outside to discover that it's a balmy, breezy 17 degrees. LOVELY. Guess I'll go sit in my car.

That would be nice, but since I left my car keys in my room...impossible.

So I take a perch on my car's hood (sorry, baby!) and hunker down. I take a peek around and realize that everyone around me took the time to get dressed. No wonder everyone is avoiding me...

So there I am, hair every which way, wearing my glasses, freezing my hiney off and WEARING MY JAMMIES. (Thank God for long flannel nightgowns, but still!)

It's then that I realize that I really need to shave my legs.

A kind fellow displaced person invited me into her car to stay warm while the fire department cleared the building. (Shout out to Donna---Thanks so much!! I'm not sure I would have invited me in, scary as I looked!) Building cleared and back we went.

Apparently, the culprit was not through with us yet! I had just gotten warm again, ready to hop in the shower (gave up on getting back to sleep) when the FIRE ALARM went off again. Two seconds later and I'd have been soaking wet, freezing...but NOT in my jammies (learned that lesson!)

Oh yeah, we're off to a GREAT start today! (Thinking this is NOT a good omen!)

Junk Mail Meandering

This ad came in yesterday's pile o' junk mail:

Okay, is it *just* me, or is this WRONG on so many levels??

I understand the doggie sweater thing, I suppose. I can even understand little doggie Halloween costumes.

Owners who tote wee tiny dogs into the grocery while wearing matching attire, much less so...but so long as they aren't infecting my purchases, who am I to say? (Heck, I'll even admit that my kids are probably of more concern sometimes, LOL!)

But a dog in faux fur??? And faux fur that even looks like the boots my teenager "just had to have" this winter. (Well, the ad *does* say it's stylish!) And the coolest part? The collar turns up OR down. WOW! Who designs these things?

--fade to Runway Interview---

Fashionista Guru: So, Diesel Guytan now that you've just won the Runway's Best Competition and you're an honors graduate of one of the top fashion design institutes in America...what's next??

Diesel Guytan: Well, Bob, I'll be designing a line of fashion wear for dogs. I think it's a largely untapped market, especially in the area of faux furs.

Fashionista Guru: Wow. Well, we'll look for your designs in our weekly junk mail flyers.

---back to blog---

What self-respecting dog would want to wear a faux animal coat--especially if you are say, a herding breed? Can you imagine the confusion on a border collie??

I think I'll get my goldfish a faux eelskin handbag...

Hand of God

I always set myself up for failure at Christmas. Lofty goals, dreams and too, too many images of what Christmas *should* be for our family. Happens every year. Something doesn’t go the way I want it to, something doesn’t get done (or done on time)…it’s always *something* pushing me over the edge. I prepare for this and plan to make things better each year, but somehow, my holiday disappointment always takes me by surprise.

And I struggle. Struggle to remember the WHY of the season. Platitudes and pithy sayings are all fine and good, but when you are wrestling with 18 teacher gifts (none of which can mention Christ!), 10 events to bake for (don’t forget that Susie is allergic to nuts), a mountain of presents to wrap and mail (preferably by mule train), a Christmas card list to maintain (did Bob & Jane move this year, or was that last year?)…and don’t forget the usual day to day business of running a family (did you know that they still need clean clothes & warm food at Christmas?)! Those pithy sayings are for the birds. (Just telling it like it is, folks!) I KNOW Jesus is the reason for the season, now get out of my way and let me get all this stuff done so I can celebrate, dagnabbit!!

Awhile ago, I stumbled on a much needed oasis, a local Christian radio station, WGTS. During the holiday season, they play all Christmas music. LOVE IT! And what a wonderful variety. I really enjoy hearing my favorite contemporary Christian artists singing Christmas classics: Jars of Clay’s version of Little Drummer Boy and Nichole Nordeman’s Do You Hear What I Hear? are among my new faves. For all the times I’m in my car, this station plays and gives me an opportunity to really hear and appreciate the gift of His son. Now that the Christmas cards are in the mail, I’ve got a chance to really reflect on what some of the music MEANS…

I think we all have our versions of God’s image. Snapshots, if you will, of God in His various forms. One that has always touched me is Michelangelo’s painting from the Sistine Chapel, the Hand of God, giving life to man. I have always loved this image, though I can’t really say why. Just something at the core of me that calls out acknowledging His breath of life to men, I suppose.

Today, on the radio, WGTS played a song by the Newsboys called Adoration. I’ve heard the song before (love it!), but never really paid much attention to the verses. This one caught my ear and the image has been with me ever since:

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And with barely open eyes

He takes my finger

And He won’t let go

And He won’t let go

It’s nothing like I knew before

And it’s all I need to know

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The Baby Jesus, God Incarnate, grasping my finger and holding fast.

I’m a mom who has cherished each and every time one of my beasties did this, but somehow, I never envisioned this moment between my Creator and me.

Beyond the manger and the Christmas season, I’ve never dwelt on the person of Christ as a baby. I know the story, so do you….but what does it mean when a baby—THE baby—chooses you? Clings to you. WOW.

He called me to choose Him, to turn my life over to His control. But here’s the part that I’m finding brought home to me with each day…and today through this song….He chooses me right back and pulls me to His side when I lack the strength to stay there on my own.

Casting Crowns, in their song East to West, says it oh so well:

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I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night

I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals

I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me

You're holding on to me

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Why, in all the time I’ve been a Christian has this not come to me before? NO clue…except that maybe I’ve been relying on myself too much?

I know He gives me everything I need—and always so much more. What I didn’t know—duh!—is that “everything” includes the strength to constantly rely on Him.

Creator, Father God gave me life, breath and a soul that cries out to know Him. The Holy Spirit has opened my heart, interceded for me in prayer, given a voice and an audience when there were no words. And the Baby Jesus sent a summons in the grasping of a finger…"come and stay near.”

WOW!